My name is Morgan McInnis and I am 20 years old. Although I am young I’ve had my share of trials and tribulations along my journey of life. My father left when I was very young, but my mom did everything that she could do to give me and my sisters a good life. Growing up I had everything I wanted, and then some. My life was pretty good until around the age of 12, a tragic event happened in my family which left us heart broken. Soon after this event occurred, I started struggling with depression, insecurities, and the constant fear that my loved ones would leave me. I couldn’t get close to anyone. I never felt like I was good enough and I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. I put on a mask to hide my true feelings, but deep inside my heart was shattered and I wanted a way to bring all the pieces back together. I started hanging around the wrong crowd and eventually I started finding ways to numb the pain. I developed an eating disorder due to my insecurities and self-doubt. Later down the road marijuana became a close friend up until I was introduced to the pill Adderall.
That pill was the gateway to my true addiction. After getting into an abusive relationship, the pills were not enough to feed the monster of heart break and bitterness that resided inside of me. I started struggling with a heavy addiction to methamphetamine. From that point, I began living a destructive lifestyle which lead to me dropping out of school my senior year, becoming homeless, attempting suicide, and being admitted into a psych hospital. Among many other things, I also almost lost my life due to the abusive guy I was with. My life suddenly became what I always swore it would never be. Everyone has a breaking point and that was mine. I was tired physically, mentally and emotionally. My life was pure chaos. I hurt everyone around me. I felt unlovable, alone and worthless. It was time for a change. I finally cried out to God the only one I KNEW could and would comfort me.
One month sober and getting my life back together slowly, but surely, I took the next step to bettering my life. On February 26th 2016 I committed to Grace House. This is where I truly surrendered to Jesus. Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the lord and he answered me and he delivered me from all my fear.” I am NO longer afraid! God has taken me out of darkness and brought me into His marvelous light. I am no longer bound by my chains of addiction! Looking back now, I see God’s hand over my life, protecting me in my darkest hours saying, “I have a plan for you. I’m not done with you yet.” I stand firm on that promise. I no longer deal with depression because He overwhelms me with His amazingly powerful joy each day. I have peace when He comforts me with His love. My past doesn’t define me anymore, I am forgiven! The Lord truly has a hold of me. I am not who I was. I’m allowing the Lord to mold me into what He has intended me to be. I am clay in His hands. Isaiah 64:8 “But now, O Lord, you are our father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” I’ve learned who I am in Him. I never thought I’d have my motivation back, and I do now because of Him. I am just so thankful for all that the Lord has done and for who He is. I am forever changed and ALL the glory is due to Jesus.